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"I already had a vacation planned and payed for."

I wish I could just tell the truth like that but it would get me some major shit in the family. I didn't tell anyone at all about it (because it's a damn valentines-day-crazy-sex-in-hotels-vacation), so even though I planned it before they planned the wedding, they wouldn't deal with it. It just wouldn't work =/ I need something complex or convincing that they would want me to choose over the wedding.

I want lots of pussy and if you can't provide that at this fucking shitbreak wedding I'm going to fuck my girlfriend for 5 days straight. I'm not sure who, but one of us will not be able to walk after the five day period. If you think hanging around with members of our family and your cuntish friends for a day tops that then you need a brain scan to make sure you fucking have one. Cunt.

I'm also only going to get the cheapest present off your stupid shitting present list. I hope your husband runs off with the maid. I love you.

guaranteed win

I think we're done here

Just tell one person that's going to be at the wedding that you won't be there. Just one person, and tell them like a day or two before the wedding.

Then just disappear without a word.

The wedding will go as planned, except you won't be there. Everyone will start asking questions about where you are, and soon that one person you told will tell others that you said you weren't going to make it and the message will spread to everyone in attendance. No one will argue with you about having to go to the wedding because they won't know until the wedding is on and no one will worry about what happened to you because that one person you told has told everyone else that you weren't going to make it.

No one will be worried that you might have been murdered and you won;t have to put up with all the BS prior to the wedding. Of course you'll have some explaining to do when you get home, but everything before that has been taken care of.

Copypasta'd from Caz:I wish I could just tell the truth like that but it would get me some major shit in the family. I didn't tell anyone at all about it (because it's a damn valentines-day-crazy-sex-in-hotels-vacation), so even though I planned it before they planned the wedding, they wouldn't deal with it. It just wouldn't work =/ I need something complex or convincing that they would want me to choose over the wedding.

LOL! I have one of those crazy sex weekends planned!! HAHAHA! I can't tell my family either. Tell them that because of the harsh economy you can't miss work...not a great idea but an idea.

Take your sister and have your girlfriend get married.

cut your dick

desperate times man

Some super important test is coming up.

I can't imagine Caz caring about a test. Unrealistic to be honest.

Either tell them the truth or suck it up and go to the wedding.

How long have you known about this wedding? It's in like, 2 weeks. Weddings take months to plan. I think it's perfectly legit of you to say you've already made plans to go on a trip WITH FRIENDS and have paid money. Such short notice from your sister and hasty planning is her fault, not yours. It's a scheduling conflict, and you're really sorry it happened, but that's usually why people plan weddings MONTHS in advanced. Not weeks.

the wedding was planned about a month ago. I didn't realize I already had plans on that day until a day or two ago. I live with my parents (I'm 18) so they do have the power to force me to go (unless I leave, but I will catch hell for it later). I can't tell them that I have plans with my girlfriend because they would be like "not anymore". they don't approve of her much. she is the sweetest girl and the perfect girlfriend, but there was a bad first impression. and that's because she's bipolar and paranoid and in a mental hospital when I first told my parents about her. obviously I didn't say 'This is my girlfriend, she's in a mental hospital', but they figured it out. so the truth would not work. basically what I have to do is convince them that whatever it is I need to do is more important than the wedding. so I need to fabricate something big or important or convincing. but I have no clue.

Sorry Caz, you're fucked.

all women are bipolar

Reschedule for the next week. It's your freaking sister, dude. You can get sex any time.

I really want to see the outcome of this.

Tell them the truth
If they can't stand it then their opinion is not worth considering

This is my extremely lame and cliché yet honest and wise opinion.

Copypasta'd from Tom:Reschedule for the next week. It's your freaking sister, dude. You can get sex any time.

I agree, especially because you live with your parents. Their opinion might not be "worth considering", but you have to be with them while they are upset.

well it's inconveniencing as fuck. I have to give up my only 5 day weekend for the rest of the god damn year because my sister wants to have a SECOND WEDDING. so fucking BALLS. I've been waiting for an opportunity like this for so long. but yeah. I'm fucked. fuck me.

Do what you want, do what you want to.
Say what you want, to who you want to.
Be what you want, be what you want to.
Love what you want, love who you want to.

hmm. that was actually pretty god damn inspiring

glad I could help

Ask her if its cool to go and explain your situation

it's too late. i have failed. i just went with her to get fitted for a tux and she was super excited and now i have to go. nooooo

you always had to go

:(

failed.

sorry caz

You are trying out for a pro Staracraft League in Korea.

You fail.

Bring your girl to the wedding and have her go apeshit.

have sex with your gf at the reception.